I recently asked members within my community to share topics that were on their minds. The challenges of work/life integration came up multiple times, and this encouraged me to research and dig deeper… to look for possible solutions. The area I want to focus on today is around how we manage ALL of the various roles that we play. What is the first thing on your mind when you open your eyes in the morning? For one of my clients, it is “I’m late…” She begins her day with a sense
* this article has been originally published on HRKatha Many of us have tough conversations almost every single day. They happen at work, at home, with friends and a variety of other stakeholders. We discuss the next promotion, a raise, conflicts, ideas and initiatives at work. We have tough conversations with kids, spouses, partners, siblings and parents. These conversations can push us (and those around us) forward, can improve performance at work and can strengthen bonds.
This week, when I started a three-week training program in Kanban for a new group, I remembered my promise to writhe about the book that became game changing for my task management and for my practice. My first meeting with Kanban happened a few years ago. It was love from first sight. The book 'Personal Kanban' by Jim Benson and Tonianne DeMaria literally revolutionized the way I had been managing tasks. If you haven't read this book yet. Read it and try in a real-world app
Have you ever thought about the way you listen to the people in your lives? I mean, really thought about it? If you observe this, you will begin to notice that we often discount the opinions and perspectives of the ones closest to us. Why is this? We make assumptions. We believe we understand their behavior patterns and habits. We believe, as a result of this knowledge, that we can predict their words and their thoughts. We hear them but we aren’t actually listening. Not surp
Check out one of the earlier posts in my series about toxic positivity here. I have a mixed relationship with positivity. Of course, I think it is great to feel joy and happiness, but the truth is, we have an entire range of emotions. And, if we feel we are consistently trying to “look on the bright side” and not let anyone “see us sweat,” we are doing both ourselves and those around us a disservice. Enter toxic positivity. As I shared in a prior post on this topic, to live i
I’ve been thinking about a common word we should consider banning from use - in certain contexts, of course. This is the word “when.” Time and again we hear (and say) these kinds of phrases: ● When I do this thing, then I’ll… ● When I get the next job, then I’ll… ● When I have more expertise, then I’ll... ● When I’m ready, then I’ll... The list goes on. The “When I’m…” phenomenon applies to many facets of our lives, but today, I want to talk about it in th
I see it all over Instagram. The intention is positive, but the outcome has the potential to be problematic. I’m talking about the concept of “finding your why”. Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe it is good to start to think about this. Our “why” is important. It helps us find meaning and prioritize. It allows us to filter the information we receive and create our perception of the world around us. Two people can look at the same picture, the same tree, the same sky and feel
I found a photograph the other day. In this photograph, I am sitting on the porch of our first house here in America. I am removing the paint from kitchen cabinets. I remember that it took hours. I was so proud of myself once this project was complete. I repainted each cabinet; I made them beautiful. I don’t know if I’ll ever need to use this skill again. I’m not sure if I’ll ever need to remove paint from cabinets or do any type of kitchen refurbishment. Looking at this phot
After my recent post, (Create Your Perfect Day), I received a response that allowed me to reflect even more on this topic. A colleague shared my strong opposition to this idea of “where you see yourself in 5-10 years” and talked about some additional pitfalls in this approach. The truth is, when we approach our goals in terms of a specific role or title -- versus how we want to spend our time -- we often limit ourselves from exploring what is possible. I know because I experi
I used to ask my clients where they see themselves in 5-10 years. I stopped asking this question because I now find it irrelevant and generally unhelpful for the vast majority of people. I don't believe in perfect predictability. What if something changes? What if you reach your goals more quickly? What if you change course? Have you failed? For me, a 5-10 year plan feels quite rigid. I don’t want to limit people. What I have found more helpful in my practice (and in my own l
Note: This blog is the first in a series of blog posts about toxic positivity. I am an optimist. Is this a bad thing? Well, I hear a conversation happening in many circles right now. Just think positively. Or... Feeling down? Engage in uplifting self-talk. Or... Everything happens for a reason. Or... Choose to be happy. None of these sentiments, on their surface, are bad things, but I do want to caution you about being overly-optimistic. But, have you ever even heard of being
I want to share a recent experience with you that stopped me in my tracks. Initially, it was something that brought me a lot of pride, but quickly, that pride turned into concern. Should I feel pride for getting something done even if it means running myself into the ground? My answer: An unequivocal no. Here’s what happened. I needed a video completed. So, I decided to do this all myself. And when I say I did everything myself, I mean, I did everything myself. I wrote the sc
Breathe! It’s safe to breathe. We generally take our breath for granted. Breathing is automatic. You don’t need to remember to breathe when you go about your day or when you sleep. The respiratory center at the base of our brain controls our breathing subconsciously. That said, you can take control of your breathing if you want. For example, you can hold your breath staying under water or train it for speeches or singing. But, have you ever noticed how often you hold your bre
Note: This blog is part of a series of posts about time management. Check out my first post here. Time… My best friend and my worst enemy. Do you feel like me? Do you feel that there is never enough time? We spend it, plan it, waste it, optimize it and still want more of it. Here’s the reality... We cannot manage time. Coming from a time management blog series, this may seem like a surprising position for me to take, but let me reframe to explain what I mean. When it comes to
“Humility is the most important quality in a leader. Being humble doesn't mean to be passive. This is a difficult dichotomy to balance. But as with all the dichotomies–being strong, but not overbearing, for example–just the awareness of these two opposing forces becomes one of the most powerful tools at a leader's disposal. Leaders must be humble enough to listen to new ideas, willing to learn strategic insights, and open to implementing new and better tactics and strategies.
Me: So, what encouraged you to start coaching?
Meg: I’m actually not sure. My boss sent me here.
Me: Why do you think he did?
Meg: He said something like “the time has come for you to become a manager.” But, I don’t think he’s serious.
Me: What makes you think that he’s not serious?
Meg: Well, a bunch of things. I’m not young, I’m a black woman, a single mom, an immigrant…
Me: Anything else?
Meg: There is no vacant manager position for me. The position that I would con
“Lack of confidence kills more dreams than lack of ability. You’re capable of more than you think. Don’t be your own bottleneck.” - James Clear A lack of confidence, or a perceived lack of confidence, is a very common issue I see in my coaching practice. A number of conversations with my clients center around one of the following aspects of confidence: They may find they lack confidence, they may allow their (self-described) “perfectionist” tendencies to hide their confidence
In a recent conversation with an acquaintance of mine, I mentioned that I work with leaders at different levels of seniority and help the leaders who I work with to grow highly promotable and sought after. Sometimes they feel overwhelmed, are swamped by routine or experience a lack of confidence, I shared. I help them through whatever they are experiencing to meet their goals. Needless to say, her reply absolutely shocked me: “This immediately suggests to me that these leader
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love I’d like to begin to talk about fear. I hear this word in approximately 80% of my coaching sessions. It is at the crux of many challenges when it comes to our growth and progress. There is so much to unpack, decipher and manage when it comes to fear that I know this will just
I bet that many of us if not all like these words and the idea behind them. Do you think that this phrase is wise and elegant in its simplicity? I think so. But have you ever considered how difficult it is to apply this wisdom to ourselves? How many times in my own life have I set ambitious and sometimes crazy goals? Growing slowly was not enough for me. I even made my crazy goals measurable to epitomize the coaching genre. I set the bar high to prove myself and others that I